After a particularly humorous and revealing conversation with a friend earlier this week, I realized no one is immune to embarrassment. We all have those stories or facts that are only funny after the blush has worn off. Many of mine are related to my ridiculous clumsiness or ignorance. So, in the name of full disclosure, a list. Something lighthearted as I determinedly ignore my homework.
1. Up until about a year and a half ago, I was going around pronouncing Goethe in a blatantly non-Germanic way: Go-eh-thee. And yes, I realized my error in class. After saying it aloud in the middle of what I thought was a particularly intelligent response. I was wrong.
2. I thought peanuts grew on trees for a large chunk of my life. Ok, so, it was up until last year. Leave me alone.
3. My first class on the first day of school during my first year at UNCA, I got up from my desk and was met with a large ripping noise. I looked down and realized my dress had gotten caught on the desk and was split right up the front, exposing quite a bit of thigh and a decent sized patch of bright-ass-green underwear. It was a spectacular first impression.
4. I blew up my bathroom in the 11th grade. The rest of that story shall remain a secret.
5. I have beaned myself in the head with the Wiimote more times than I can count.
6. Walking barefoot on flat ground with no spare cloth near my feet, I trip an average of at least 10 times per day. Usually in public. Usually with a face-to-the-ground-ass-in-the-air finish.
7. While snorkeling with my parents in Puerto Rico and encountering a crap ton of jellyfish, I acted the same way any sane adult would do: I alternated between climbing on my father's back and floating in the fetal position with my eyes closed. I may or may not have peed on myself in some misinformed desire to keep them away.
8. One of said jellyfish was a plastic bag. There is video proof.
9. I got bit by a Golden Retriever. Yes, America's favorite family pet ripped half my arm open. This is something that would only happen to me.
10. I got sent home early from pre-school for singing everyone's favorite Rocky Horror Picture Show number: "Touch-a touch-a touch me..."
Tag, you're it!
Oh, how I love all of the clumsy stuffs over the years......and still adding to the punchlist. I must apologize to you, fruit of my loins, as it may be mea culpa that you are destined for america's funniest videos worthy happenstances. Love ya, schnookie!
ReplyDeleteYeah, there is definitely way too much to include in a list! It's ok, I accept my fate. Between you and dad, both having only a marginal clumsiness, I was destined to lack grace!
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